Lawyers for all of life’s challenges
At What Age Can a Child Refuse to See a Parent?

At What Age Can a Child Refuse to See a Parent?

A man and a woman crossing arms sitting next to each other

Colorado Family Courts make all decisions in the best interests of children. Child custody cases begin with the court’s general presumption that continued close contact with both parents is what is in the child’s best interests. Unless one parent relocates a prohibitive distance away from the other or there is a history of child abuse or neglect, the court encourages parents to reach an agreement on a child custody (parenting time) schedule that’s close to 50/50.

When Does a Colorado Court Consider a Child’s Opinion on Custody?

Colorado courts consider a child’s opinion as just one factor in many when making decisions on child custody, and typically only when a child is of an age to reasonably express their opinion. Although there is no set age—it depends more on an individual child’s level of maturity—the general perception is that children can appropriately express their opinions around age 13. During a custody dispute in court, a judge may ask to speak to a child about their preferences and their feelings about the divorce and the separation of their household.

Can a Child Refuse to See a Parent During the Parent’s Custody Time In Colorado?

Children may begin expressing a preference for their custody and visitation days for many reasons. When children are old enough to talk to their parents about their desires, parents who can communicate and compromise effectively sometimes make off-the-record adaptations to their custody agreements.

For instance, if a child has a social commitment in one parent’s community when the other parent has custody, the parents may agree between themselves to make a temporary change. It’s important to note; however, that child support is largely based on the number of child custody day each parent has, so making off-the-record adaptations to the custody arrangement often may make the child support payment less fair.

Sometimes, parents may make more permanent choices. One or both parents may go back to court either to request a modification of their existing order or to seek the enforcement of a custody order. If the child is either 13 years old or old enough to express a mature opinion. A judge will hear testimony from both parents and speak to the child about their reasons for the refusal.

Common Reasons a Child Refuses to See A Parent

When an older child or teenager declines to see a parent, it may be because the stronger social ties to their community, and friends, and increased interest in extra-curricular activities cause them to resist a change in environment. They may prefer not to spend their scheduled time with the parent who lives outside of their preferred community or social circle. For younger children, refusal to see a parent is more concerning. Common causes of refusing to see a parent include the following:

  • Discomfort with a parent’s new relationship
  • If the parent has new children from a new relationship, the child may feel like an outsider or ignored
  • Disagreement with one parent’s or step-parent’s rules or disciplinary measures
  • A child may have anxiety about a change in households or different routines in one parent’s household
  • Disagreements over politics, religion, education, or other matters
  • The child might blame one parent for the divorce
  • A child may have been the victim of abuse or neglect while in one parent’s care

Except in cases of abuse or domestic violence, it’s best to communicate openly with the child about their concerns and encourage them to work through their difficulties with the other parent, the parent’s new relationship, or the change in their routine and environment so they continue to have a close relationship with both parents. Most children work through these feelings over time; however, if the refusal is due to abuse, neglect, or the other parent’s chronic addiction or criminality, it’s best to see an attorney and file a request for a modification of your existing child custody agreement with the help of a Denver family lawyer.

How Can a Denver Child Custody Attorney Help?

Call the lawyers at Ciancio Ciancio Brown, P.C. to speak to an experienced attorney about your child custody issue, whether you’re seeking a modification of existing orders, or seeking enforcement measures for your scheduled parenting time, the Denver child custody lawyers at Ciancio Ciancio Brown, P.C. are ready to help.